The Kleveland Kracker Korner
 
BREAKING NEWS !! BREAKING NEWS !!


Cracker New Broadcasting Corp. - The OTHER CNBC

Dateline : Boston , Ma. Jan 20 , 2013


CNBC sources have uncovered yet another Obama Administration cover - up . According to our sources there was a terrorist attack at Logan Airport in Boston , Massachusetts Thanksgiving Eve.
As my regular readers will remember  on Nov.12 , 2012 " Big Sis " issued a terror alert for Minnesota regarding a highly skilled team of terrorists enroute to Minneapolis , Mn. The Pervert Patrols were put on HIGH alert to stop these terrorists and had been anxiously trying to find them before they reeked havoc on America. Thanksgiving Eve they struck.
The terrorist team mingled with the holiday crowds for about one hour without arousing the suspicion of anybody. How they were able to change into their uniforms and weapons in full view of everybody without arousing suspicion is certainly going to be cause for somebody's head to role. At 5:00 P.M. they STRUCK !!! Armed with only a string of pearls and a smile they stormed The Pervert Patrols waving their flag and shouting their slogans. The Pervert Patrols ran for their lounges in abject horror screaming " Oh my God we're under attack by Sweden. Somebody call " Big Sis " !!"
Needless to say the patrons of the airport were quite stunned by this -- " Sweden ? Why the Hell are the Swedes attacking us? Haven't we apologized to them already. Why are they naked ? " Once the terrorists made certain that The Pervert Patrols were securely locked in their lounges they broke out their Swedish coffee and apple cake and invited their American cousins to sit and chat a while. FINALLY the Americans realized what was going on and broke into a standing ovation for these " terrorists " . After chatting for an hour it was time for the Hockey HitGrannies to board their flight to Minnesota. They were escorted onto their plane by the Captain and crew like the conquering heroines they were. By this time it had occured to a member of The Pervert Patrols that perhaps Washington needed to be notified since nobody seemed to give a damn about their plight. Tearing himself away from the cable porn in the lounge he finally figured out how to use the pay phone and called " Big Sis ". " B.S. " Was NOT amused by The Hockey HitGrannies. She called The Usurper In Chief for instructions. As usual when there is trouble in America he was not available. Our sources inform us that he was in Western Pennsylvania at a turkey farm where he was conducting the World 
Apology Tour by apologizing profusely to the local community for the hundreds of years of Avian Genocide committed by Americans of Caucasian European descent. Yes yes you and I know that Pennsylvania is part of America but seriously guys can you expect a Kenyan to know that? It's not his fault that he doesn't realize it's one of the 57 states. We're told that the Gobbler Nation were singularly unimpressed as are the inhabitants of most nations that have met him. 

During all the confusion while waiting for Washington to make a decision the flight crews of all departing flights and the control tower personnel being of sound mind and possessing great common sense saw to it that all passengers were seated WITHOUT being sexually molested and that all flights left on time and arrived on time. Meanwhile back at the World Apology Tour , Avian Genocide stop the Usurper In Chief's teleprompter malfunctioned so a message could not be gotten to him. The decision fell to The Joint Chiefs of Staff. The Joint Chiefs being military men and knowing a serious threat when they saw one did the only thing they could do. They dispatched 4 F 16's to escort the Hockey HitGrannies to Minneapolis. The pilots of these F 16's having been appraised of the situation and having great senses of humor added a nice little touch of their own. They attached the Swedish flag to their planes and gave a nice tip of the wings to the Hockey HitGrannies. You gotta love those Jet Jockeys !! lol God bless the U.S. Air Force. Yes yes I know that was an editorial comment. Now you've been reading this blog long enough to KNOW one was coming sooner or later. All other flights that left Boston were guaranteed clear skies by the U.S.A.F.


Upon arrival in Minneapolis The Hockey HitGrannies were greeted by thousands of cheering Americans waving the Swedish flag and were given a police escort to their hotels. The local hotel managers being smart business people welcomed the Grannies with open arms and endorsement contracts. Commercials are in the works. There is no mold growing on these Grannies. lol The local Minnesota Swedish population is understandably thrilled with The Hockey HitGrannies. Tomorrow they are scheduled to have a meeting with the Governor of Minnesota. They and their Grandsons hockey teams will be the guests of the Minnesota Wild. The N.H.L. is reported to be interested in doing some promotional work with the Grannies and has guaranteed the Grannies 8 games in Sweden next season. I'm sure the Grannies can look forward to many more lucrative proposals coming their way.


What a great Thanksgiving Holiday week-end it turned out to be courtesy of nineteen new American heroines from Sweden. " Big Sis " " The Usurper In Chief and The Pervert Patrols got punked by 19 Blue Haired Naked Swedish Granny " terrorists " wearing nothing but a string of pearls and armed with just a smile , and great charm and wit and all Americans made it home to their families on time WITHOUT being sexually molested and in good humor.


God Bless the Swedish Hockey HitGrannies!! CNBC suggests that in honor of the Swedish Hockey HitGrannies we all fly the Swedish flag until the Grannies go home to Sweden next week. Would anybody like to bet that The Pervert Patrols just wave them right through on their flight home? lol


Flour to the Crackers , Cookies and Pretzels !! We SHALL bake !!!


Now go spread your crumbs around !!!

 
 
The Great Sugar Assassin Conspiracy Of Sweetwater Tx.


 She’s beautiful , charming , sexy and DEADLY!!! She’s A Sugar Assassin ” 

 Havana Day Dreaming” or ” The Havana Sugar Cartel Strikes”   

  In Dec. of this year a rather elderly but alert gentleman by the Name of Mr. Barton Park of Sweetwater , Texas began receiving,anonymously, baked goods from bakeries all over the country. Mr.Park being a diabetic and a naturally suspicious man,and ever mindful of the extremely difficult security situation his country was facing as a result of the events of Sept.11,2001 did what all good Americans would do. He called the authorities. In this case that was the Sugar Awareness Police A.K.A., known affectionately we hope, as the SAPS The SAPS are Federal Agents under the direct supervision of The Cracker Nation Department Of Domestic Security. As a consequence of this heinous attack on Mr. Park The Cracker Nation Department Of Domestic Security has declared that all bakers and confectioners are to be considered Domestic Terrorists until further notice. All citizens of The Great And Mighty Cracker Nation are strongly urged to approach all bakers and confectioners with the utmost caution in all dealings with them.

    The case was assigned to me as the Lead Investigator. My name is Major Dee Mentia. An investigation was launched. Preliminary field intelligence seemed to indicate that vile , despicable , nefarious , evil terrorist group The Havana Sugar Cartel was behind the attempted assassination of Mr.Park.


 We have no idea why they would want to assassinate an elderly retired gentleman such as Mr.Park. I assure all citizens that we will get to the bottom of this though . What we do know of the Havana Sugar Cartel is that they employ assassins,known as Sugar Assassins,to do their dirty work. In a rather cruel and ironic twist the Sugar Assassins always use sugar in one form or another to kill their victims.  

Since we now know that there is a Sugar Assassin operating in the Sweetwater Tx. area we urge all citizens of Texas to be extremely vigilant!!If you should go out to dinner in the immediate future you might want to think carefully about ordering that apple pie or carrot cake. 




    We ask for the cooperation of the public at large in the on going investigation.If you have any information that may pertain to this investigation please feel free to call us at our toll free hot line 1-800-THE-SAPS or leave your tips in this forum as comments. Do not worry The Kleveland Kracker Korner is a secure site. They have TOP SECRET or T.S.15 security clearance.You needn’t be in fear of your identity being leaked or of any information you give us being used against you. In the coming weeks and months I will bring you up to date on past developments as well as current ones. In the meantime be—— HIGHLY VIGILANT!!! The BASTARDS are EVERYWHERE!!!     

                      
Major Dee Mentia Lead Investigator{T.G.S.A.C.S.T.} Area 61 Maple Sugar Country U.S.A. 1-800-THE-SAPS majordeementia@yahoo.com  
www.klevelandkrackerkorner.com


 The Great Sugar Assassin Conspiracy Of Sweetwater Texas ” and all characters ,places,plot lines , mythology or ANYTHING else even REMOTELY associated with it are the intellectual property of Spaced Teacher D.B.A. Bea Wildered Enterprises and may not be used for ANY purposes without the express written permission of Spaced Teacher. “The Great Sugar Assassination Conspiracy Of Sweetwater Tx.” while obviously the victim of a great deal of literary license by the author is based on true events. This actually happened to a diabetic friend of mine. To the best of my knowledge he never did resolve the mystery. This was a cause of great concern to him. The names have been fictionalized to insure the guilty from liability be that criminal or civil and to protect the author,me against a Sugar Assassination attempt. That damn Havana Sugar Cartel is VICIOUS!!!!
 
 
Merry Christmas from China. We hope The 12 Girls Band will get you in the Christmas Spirit , Chinese style.
 
 
Breaking News !!! Breaking News !!!  
                                      
Cracker News Broadcasting Corp - The OTHER CNBC

 
Dateline : N.Y.C. Dec. 22 , 2012


 C.N.B.C. has an exclusive story from the world of entertainment for you today. The beloved American Kracker Icon who has been strangely silent for months now Richard " Kinky " Friedman is back. Mr. Friedman announced today that he will be sponsoring a very special Holiday Concert as part of his " Friday Night Rockin' With The Soldiers Of Allah Concerts And Pig Roasts " . This particular concert will be a mutli-cultural and inter - faith event celebrating Christmas , Ramadan , Chanukah and New Years Day . As always the entertainment line up will be top rate and will feature Kinky's 1960 's era now reformed ,thanks to Muzzie stupidity , band The Texas Jewboys and that dynamic and ever explosive band once from Damascus , Syria but since their conversion to Christianity and defection to , America One Way Ticket. Yes yes we are as shocked as you are that One Way Ticket will be appearing considering the recent Fatwa against them. Apparently The Soldiers Of Allah do not see the humor in these guys making tons of money with Mr. Friedman's company Crusader Records. CNBC asked Mr. Friedman about this and he replied thusly ' These guys are a freaking gold mine. I never let any other considerations get in the way of business. I assure you that I protect my investments with the best security possible. One Way Ticket have the best Mossad Agents in the world protecting them. Do not be overly concerned about their safety.' This spectacular event titled " Muzzie Claus In Manhattan " will take place on Dec. 29 , 2012 in the streets surrounding The Cordoba Center in N.Y.C. it will have the block party atmosphere that Mr. Friedman's concerts have become famous for. As a good faith gesture Mr. Friedman will be offering the following door prizes to any Muzzie that has the sense of humor and courage to claim them appropriately.


1. To any Muzzie that comes dressed as Muzzie Claus 50 lbs of Jimmy Dean sausage ,and a date with a Lady U.S. Marine.



  2. To the best Muzzie Claus as voted on by the Christian audience members. a tour of Christian Holy sites in Israel escorted by volunteers from the I.D.F. , a Holy Bible { King James Version } a complete DVD collection of the Rev. Terry Jones works and a copy of Salman Rushdie's new book " The Fraud Of Holocast Denial " and a copy of every new " One Way Ticket " CD or DVD for life. 


   3. To the first 100 Muzzies that come dressed as Santa's Elves free dinner at Mr. Friedman's restaurant " Porkapalooza". 


  4. To the Muzzie with the best Santa's Elf Costume as chosen by Rachel , Santa's only female Messianic Zionist Elf , a personal visit to his family from Santa Claus who will be bearing gifts for this Muzzie's children including the latest fashions in suicide bomber attire and a scholarship to Jihadi University when the young lad or lass's time comes.


  The local chapter of The Anti - Defamation League voicing support of Mr. Friedman's attempt to build bridges with other cultures and faiths will be supplying free bagels with cream cheese and lox for all. The Council On Islamic American relations as usual will not be supporting this event in any way shape manner or form, quite to the contrary actually . CAIR has threatened any infidel who insults Islam in this way with public beheading.Some things never change, Yes yes we know that was an editorial comment. So sue us if you must !! The entertainment line - up as usual for a Kinky event will be first rate and include the following guests.



Sandi Patty from Idiana , U.S.A. will open the festivities with her classice rendition of " The Star Spangled Banner.



  Kinky Friedman and The Texas Jewboys from Texas , U.S.A. with their smash hit " We Ain't Making Jews Like Jesus Anymore "

 
 Mohammed's Curse from Tel Aviv Israel performing " Hava Nagila " and " Exodus "  


Fatima Daoud and The Blue Dress Ladies from Beirut , Lebanon performing an always popular exhibition of belly dancing 


 One Way Ticket the always dynamic and explosive band formerly from Damascus , Syria performing their signature hit " Fire !! I Bring You To Burn " and their new smash hit " Three Days Late " At the conclusion of their set " One Way Ticket " will be signing Bibles for any fellow Christians that request it. Kinky is a freaking business genius. Yes yes we know yet another editorial comment. Would you like us to refer you to an attorney? 


 The 72 Virgins Heavenly Choir formerly from Tehran , Iran performing " It's Shouting Time In Heaven " These Ladies with Kinky's help recently converted to Judaism and now hail from Jerusalem , Israel. The Iranian Mullahs are said to be furious with Kinky and are on the verge of issuing yet another Fatwa against him. Kinky responded to that threat by signing The 72 Virgins Heavenly Choir to his recording label Crusader Records. God Kinky has BIG brass balls !!! 

Admit it guys wouldn't you like to get a peek at what's under those burqas?

  Song Sai Quan and The Shenyang Soul Shakers from Shenyang , Liaoning Province .China performing " Jingle Bells "  


 Allison Durham Speer from Tennessee , America performing " Divine Love"  


Hu Ho Qi and his Guangzhou Gangsters Of God from The Pearl River Baptist Church in Gaungzhou , China performing " Silent Night " in Chinese and English.



 Karen Peck and New River from Georgia , America performing " Big Change " 

                                        
 Dai " Diva " Du and her Sisters And Brother Of Hope from Shenyang , Lioaning Province , China performing the Chinese Christian Hymn " China Has Hope " in Chinese and English.  



  Hiram " Hick " Hincklestein and his Haifa Hillbillies from Haifa , Israel performing a medley of Jewgras Chanuka favorites.


 The Gaither Vocal Band will close the evening's festivities with " Let Freedom Ring " There are unconfirmed reports that Snoop Dogg and The Village People will also appear. CNBC fully expects this rumor to come to fruition. Snoop Dogg and The Village people haven't let Kinky down yet. We at CNBC can't wait until Dec. 29. This promises as usual with a Kinky Friedman staged production to be a spectacular evening. We look forward to seeing you all there Merry Christmas Muzzies 

 
Please do remember to discard your litter properly since we have been informed by Karen " Cracker " Hopkins Director of The Cracker Intelligence Agency that The Confused Man - Children of Philadelphia A.K.A. The New Black Panther Party will have their " Litter Police " on the scene in order to try to claim that The Great and Mighty Cracker Nation is committing a racist litter crime against The Noble Panther And Other People of Color of America.

 
 Flour to the Krackers !! We SHALL bake !!

Now go spread your Krumbs around Krackers


This Kracker has it right !! lol

 
 
 
Breaking News !!! Breaking News !!!


Cracker New Broadcasting Corp. - The OTHER CNBC 

Dateline : Pocatello , Id. Dec. 20 , 2012

 
 Police in Pocatello , Idaho are on the scene of a grisly murder. At 5:00 A.M. this morning they received a call from a local jogger that had the extremely unpleasant experience of discovering a dismembered body along one of the hiking trails in Sacajawea Park. He notified police immediately.
The unfortunate deceased man has been identified as one Mr. Forrest " Frosty " T. Snowman.
Detective Greg Boyd the Lead Investigator of this case released the following statement. " In my thirty years of law enforcement experience this is the most vicious crime I've seen. Evidence indicates that Mr. Snowman was tortured before he was killed by means of flash melting. In the snow near Mr. Snowman's body written in yellow snow were the words " For Jango " Mr. Snowman's body parts were scattered over a twenty foot radius. About one mile from the crime scene our investigators found a hair dryer and a wanted poster of George Zimmerman tossed into the woods. In what may turn out to be an unrelated incident four Melanin Enhanced men were caught on security cameras having a hissy fit while eating at the local Denny's.One of them was heard seriously berating a young Cracker waitress for being out of chocolate chips thusly precluding his desire for chocolate chip pancakes. ' Why is it that you have strawberry pancakes , banana pancakes and pineapple pancakes but no chocolate chip pancakes.This is yet another vile racist plot against The Noble Panther People  fomented by the C.I.A. , George Bush , Rush Limbaugh and The Crackers. This Food Discrimination must stop. My people need food of color.' The young Cracker waitress summoning up calm beyond her years cancelled the men's orders and brought them all a serving of Apple Brown Betty. Apparently they did not see the humor in her actions. lol As they left in a huff they were heard to threaten the young Cracker Lady thusly : ' We'll be back soon and we'll have some Panthers from ' Da Hood with us. ' At this point some of our local Crackers stood up and drew their guns to protect the young Cracker Lady. ' Do call a few days in advance so I can stock up on chocolate chips ' the young Lady said as they beat the bricks out of town. Taking all the evidence found at the scene and this seemingly  unrelated incident into account we have a few  Persons Of Interest that we'd like to speak to one of whom we are very suspicious of being Mr. Snowman's murderer and possibly the mastermind of a terrorist anti - Cracker gang preying on Cracker Snowmans. We ask the public's help in apprehending these gentlemen. If you see any of these loathsome individuals please call the local authorities at 1-800-fuk-rev-jessy.Pleased do remember that these gentlemen are unarmed with intelligence  and are to be considered stupid and dangerous. Do NOT approach them looking for intelligent conversation. In closing I'd like to express my condolences to Frosty's family. R.I.P. Frosty we hardly knew ye. I promise that the racist bastard that did this to you will be severely punished. "





  Quite a Rogues Gallery aren't they ?

 R.I.P. Frosty

 Rev. Al " Tawana " Sharpton when asked by CNBC for a comment regarding this vicious hate crime responded thusly " Why are you bothering me with this? Can't you see that I'm very busy frameing George Zimmerman. What the Hell do I care if some Idaho Cracker Snowman got himself flash melted? The Cracker probably deserved it. Call me when some Brotha flash melts a Cracker Snowman on his way to 7 - 11 for iced tea and skittles. I 'll represent the Brotha for free just to piss off those Idaho Crackers. This is probably a racist plot by them Utah Mesals. They're still pissed about Spike Lee's GPS malfunction in The Utah Incident. "


When asked for a comment regarding this vile hate crime by CNBC Clarence " Trashmouth " Hankins The Director Of Communications for The Confused Man - Children Of Philadelphia , DAMN I always make that mistake , I meant The New Black Panther Party replied thusly : " We don't have Snowmans in Liberia. Fuck Emily Wendy Bustnuttzz. Snowmans are a vile insipid racist plot fomented in the inner cities by The C.I.A. , George Bush , Rush Limbaugh and The Crackers to distract the children of The Noble Panther Nation from their true holiday Kwaanza. I and all Noble Panther People are glad this Cracker Snowman got himself flash melted. The Noble Panther People support the total eradication of all Cracker Snowmans. If those Idaho Cracker Snowmans want to rumble our hairdryers are locked and loaded. We'll rumble with them on all the ski slopes and in every backyard in Idaho. Victory to The Noble Panther Nation. "



 When asked for a comment regarding this vile racist hate crime Minister " Calypso " Louis " Farrakhan replied thusly : " What the Hell do I care if some Cracker Snowman got himself flash melted? Snowmans are a racist plot fomented in the inner cities by Jews to make young Black folks dependent on White people. This Jew Snowman probably got exactly what he deserved. When the war comes our people will be allied with The Noble Panther Nation. We will assist them in their eradication efforts of these vermin. " Points to " Calypso " Louie for being both predictable and original at the same time. It gets so boring when they all blame the C.I.A. , Rush , George and The Crackers. We at CNBC are a bit confused about how " Calypso " Louie knows that Mr. Snowman is a Jew though. One of Life's Little Mysteries we guess. Yes yes we know that was an editorial comment.


President Obama according to our source " Digger "buried deep within the White House is said to be so distraught over " Frosty's " demise that he's seriously considering taking drastic action. " Digger " informs us that he has asked Michelle to Chair a task force to find solutions to the epidemic of hair dryer violence plaguing America. Shelley was at the hairdressers at the time though. She sent one of her fourty aides to inform her husband that as soon as her beauty appointment was over , she had lunch at McDonalds and checked the current NASCAR news she would consider his request. The President is so angry with Mrs Obama that he plans to fly to Chicago tomorrow to seek solace at The Down Low Club.



The Liberals are reportedly deserting the President on this issue. Our sources inform us that they fear that if hair dryers are banned all illegal immigrant beauticians and nail technicians will flee the country thereby leaving these affluent Liberals only two choices. Hire an American to tend to their beauty needs at greatly increased cost or --- GASP !!! - do it themselves. Barbara Streisand is rumored to be testifying to Congress next week about the deleterious effects of a total hair dryer ban on the American economy.


NOT reporting live from Pocatello , Id. for Cracker Nation News Broadcasting - The OTHER CNBC  Jack Frost

Flour to the Krackers !! We SHALL bake !!! 
 

 Now go spread your krumbs around Krackers !!

 This Kracker has got it right !!




 
 

cracker-flag10

In the aftermath of the Connecticut shooting it seems like everybody is asking the same question. " How do we stop these mass shootings? " The truth is that we will never be able to stop them completely. Evil has been with us always. Evil will be with us always. We can however in my humble opinion curtail them severely. That solution is simple , so simple that The Higher Minds can't conceive of it. Contrary to what those Higher Minds tell us the solution is not to disarm our law-abiding citizenry in the face of this onslaught of evil. The solution is simply to " take out the trash ". My proposals in that regard are listed below.

1. " If You Do The Crime You Do The Time "

I propose that we eliminate all plea deals for violent crimes except those that are within the parameters of the given crime. For instance if the crime committed calls for a sentence of 7 - 10 years than no plea deal shall be for a sentence of less than 7 years. No more immunity , no more supervised parole, no more reduced sentences for cooperation. You do the 7 years period!!.In short no more leniency. I further propose that the " Diminished Capacity " legal defense no longer be accepted as a valid defense by the legal system. If you are stupid enough to get high on drugs and murder somebody you should not be allowed to say that you committed the act because you were high on drugs and not in your right mind at the time. It's time that these sorts of felons face adult sentences for adult crimes even if they behaved as stupid teenagers.

2. " Equal Before The Law "

If Congress strips Americans of their Constitutionally protected right to bear arms then it should be for all Americans without exception. I will expect that no Congressperson will be allowed to have a weapon. I will also expect that all government buildings will no longer be protected by gun bearing troops or police just like the average American's schools , places of business , social gathering spots and homes. I will expect that the President will no longer have Secret Service protection. In short I will expect all of our leaders at every level and branch of government to be rendered as defenseless as the average everyday American John Q . Public. I would also expect this new policy to extend into all areas of life. For example if John Q. Public's all over America are forced into Obamacare then I will expect all members of the government at every level and branch to also be enrolled unwillingly into Obamacare with zero exceptions. If some immigrants came to this country by following the procedures dictated by our laws then all prospective immigrants should be required to follow that procedure with zero exceptions !!! If the average American is required to show a long form birth certificate for his child to play ball than all prospective candidates should be required to do the same before they are even allowed to get a nomination or secure certain positions within our government that require proof of Natural Born Citizen status.

3. " A New War On Drugs "

While I'm not ready to concede defeat in the current War On Drugs I am referring to a new and different " War On Drugs " It's way past time to ban or at the very least severely regulate prescription psychotropic drugs. The days of drugging people with mental health issues into quiet submission should end. I think there is plenty of evidence to prove that this is a counter - productive policy. Too many of these highly drugged folks with legitimate mental health problems are ticking time bombs. They are disasters waiting to happen. I further propose that mental health be funded at least as well as President Obama's Brownshirt Youth Corps. Which group would you prefer your tax dollars fund? If we don't have the money to do this then I propose that a Congress that has no compunctions about stripping my rights should have no compunction about declaring a National Emergency and forcing Psychiatrists and other mental health workers to care for these folks pro bono for 10 - 12 hours a week. I quite frankly do not care if this is a violation of Psychiatrists and mental health workers rights there is a higher priority involved here. Our children are far more important than any shrink's financial well being. It's time to get at the real root causes of mental illness.

4. " Enforce The Incitement To Violence Laws "

I'm old enough to remember the days when if you incited anyone to violence against anyone you would get a knock on your door by the local constabulary and you would be warned --- once!! I think it's time to get back to that policy. The next time anybody calls for murdering the President of the N.R.A. as happened three or four times this past week they should receive that knock and warning posthaste. The second time they do it they should be seeing nothing but striped sunlight for a few years. The next time The Black Panthers make comments about " killing Cracker babies " they should receive that knock and warning. The next time some Liberal commentator makes a comment about killing Rush Limbaugh they should receive that knock. The next time The Gay Militant Terrorist Rabble And Their Enabling Hordes attack a church they should receive that knock. I think you get my drift. If we can use these sorts of laws to take down The Aryan Nation then we can use them to take down the people and groups on the other side of the political aisle that advocate for violence against their opponents.

5. " Put God Back In The Schools "

In spite of what The Usurper In Chief says we are a Christian nation founded on Christian principles. Christianity is all American's heritage even non Christians. Quite frankly non Christians should thank the founders daily for their foresight in seeing to it that American become a tolerant nation where everybody could worship as they choose freely. If they choose to get offended that those of us whose ancestors actually founded the country insist on our heritage being the preeminent one in American society I really don't give a damn. The train , boat , bus or plane that brought them here can bring them back to their native lands. I think the evidence that Godly societies have far fewer of these incidents becomes more clear with every new tragedy of this sort.

There you have it Ladies and Gentlemen my five point plan for drastically reducing these incidents. I invite your comments.

Paul Stanner

In God We Trust

 
 

cracker-flag10

When They Came --- !!

When they came for the trade unionists I did nothing because I wasn't a trade unionist.

When they came for the Gypsies I did nothing because I wasn't a Gypsie.

When they came for the handicapped I did nothing because I was not handicapped.

When they came for the mentally ill I did nothing because I wasn't mentally ill.

When they came for the Catholics I did nothing because I was not a Catholic.

When they came for the Constitutionalists I did nothing because I was not a Constitutionalist.

When they came for the veterans I did nothing because I was not a veteran.

When they came for the homeschoolers I did nothing because I was not a homeschooler.

When they came for the Jews I did nothing because I was not a Jew.

When they came for the TEA Party Patriots I did nothing because I was not a Tea Party Patriot.

When they came for the homosexuals I did nothing because I was not a homosexual.

When they came for the Liberals I did nothing because Liberals are too stupid to live. They got exactly what they deserved. It's been six months now since that day and the world is a livable place again.

Your day is coming Liberals !!!

Image

 
 
Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
"Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she
With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

Dear World :

This is Lady Liberty speaking. In light of recent events please consider yourselves notified that I'll be returning your huddled masses yearning to live free , and I do mean totally and completely free and without any responsibilities to anyone or anything whatsoever , and the wretched refuse of your teeming shores, and I do mean wretched in every possible negative connotation , to you in due course. They are too stupid to appreciate my blessings. I'm sure they'll be very happy to return to their Native Lands. I can no longer afford them financially or spiritually. Oh and just in case you get any ideas about refusing their repatriation to your lands please do remember that this Lady is packing.
 
I'll be sending 92 % of your Melanin Enhanced wretched refuse to the African Paradise founded by and for freed American slaves Liberia. I'm absolutely certain that their Black Worldview will turn this third world shithole into a " Beacon Of Progress " in short order. There will be one exception to this forced exodus. I intend to send The Congressional Black Caucus to Cuba since they like to vacation there rather than my  country. It seems like a fitting destination for them. I'm sure they'll be quite pleased to live under Mr. Castro's regime.

 I'll be sending 75 % of your Hispanic wretched refuse to Mexico and other assorted Hispanic Banana Republics. I'm sure the Cartels will help them realize their dreams in making the mythical land of Azatlan a reality or shoot them just for fun. Quite honestly I hope it's the latter. Good luck to you Amigos.


I'll be sending 70 % of your Yellow wretched refuse back to The Land Of Chairman Mao's Miracle. What a joy it will be for me to no longer have to tolerate the flag of the most repressive and backward regime in the world today flying over my Land Of The Free. What's that you say China? You have 1.5 billion people and can't afford to absorb this forced repatriation. Tough break that  they're coming. Yes yes I know you'll huff and puff and threaten  to blow everybody to smithereens. I also know that in the end you'll run crying to the U.N. like you always do. I suggest that you just save everybody the drama and go immediately to the U.N. They're coming whether you like it or not.


I'll be sending 95 % of your Middle Eastern  wretched refuse with an Islamic Jihad philosophy to Israel. That particular problem will be solved in short order. Aside to Israel call me if there is anything I can do to help. Conversely I'll be sending 70 % of  your Jewish wretched refuse to The Lands Of Jihad. I think a little up close and personal time with the Jihadis would do these folks a world of good.
I'll be sending ALL of your Intellectually Challenged female wretched refuse to Afghanistan and Iraq. I'm sure the Taliban will be able to explain to these " ladies " patiently and mercifully the errors of their ways. As for all of  your Intellectually Challenged  male and homosexual wretched refuse they will also be going to Afghanistan and Iraq. The Taliban is having a critical shortage of " girlfriends ". Two birds with one stone as it were.
 

The forced repatriation will begin in due course. I hope you are as prepared to accept this influx of the unwanted as I was. Should you need assistance with the logistics of this repatriation you may feel free to call me. When the phone is not answered that will be me. I suggest that you call the French or the U.N. I'm sure they'll help you in  any way possible. Good bye and good riddance to wretched refuse.


Sincerely Lady Liberty


" All that is needed to defeat a people is to convince them that they don't have a common heritage . " As I remember this quote was either from Mao Zhe Dong or General Giap of the North Vietnamese Army. If anybody knows please let me know. Does anybody practice this theory better than the Communists ? We had better wake up soon America or they will be successful.


God bless America !!

 
 

Deacon Jones and Father Callahan

In a little more than two weeks America will have what is arguably the most important election in her history between one candidate that is constitutionally unqualified to even be allowed to run and the other candidate who has been a vicitm of the most vile , hateful , disgusting , and un-American discrimination I've ever witnessed. Sadly this discrimination is emanting from the very people that should best know better -- Christians . If this candidate were a Jew enduring this sort of discrimination seven kinds of Hell would be breaking loose , if this candidate were a Muslim enduring this sort of discrimination there would be worldwide riots and CAIR would be suing everybody in sight , if this candidate were a Hindu or Buddhist the ACLU would be in court in seconds. Unfortunatley for this candidate he is a Mormon and thusly deemed by the vast majority of Christians and virtually all of the Drive By Media as not worthy of the traditional American sense of tolerance and fair play. It troubles me greatly that Christians and especially Catholics whose faith teaches them not to engage in this sort of behavior are such avid participants especially considering the assault they themselves are currently under. They are the last ones that should be casting stones. Yes yes I am aware of the Mormons history. It is indeed a checkered one. I am also aware of Jewish , Moslem and Christian history which is equally checkered. Do the Inquistion , The Naqba , The Holocaust , and Jihad ring a bell ? Many Jews , Moslems and Christians are still institutionally violently savage. When was the last time any of you heard The Mormon Church beating the war drums or slandering any other faith? Put aside your blind faith for a moment and think with your rational mind then answer me this question. Is Joseph Smith's story really any less believable than a virgin birth and a son of God sacrificed for humaty's sins then resurrected from the grave to sit at the right hand of God? Is Joseph Smith's story any less believable than the Mahdi's or Mohammed's? Is Joseph Smith's story any less believable than God giving Moses The Ten Commandments carved in stone or a one day supply of oil lasting for eight days? That is why it's called faith. Mr. Romney has his and his discriminators have theirs. Who's faith is the correct one is a question that will be answered in due course. When you alleged Christians that are slandering Mr. Romney's faith now may be very uncomfortable come your Judgement Day. Were I you I'd give that some serious thought. Before you elect a Communist Usurping Jihad supporter to the highest office in the land and change America negatively for all time you might want to read the two stories below.

In the early 80's in a small New England town there was a small Catholic church that fell on hard financial times. Try as they might they could not seem to right their financial ship. They had fund raising bake sales , yard sales , raffles and carnivals. They prayed fervently for their church's survival. They cut costs. They sold everything they had that was not of an essential nature. Nothing they tried worked. Just when the situation became the darkest God as she usually does stepped in. I've often said that God has a delicious sense of humor. How she solved this particualr problem was one of her all time best cosmic pranks. It also contains a lesson for us all. I picture God summoning Moroni for a chat. " Moroni I would like your help with a problem. I have a flock that has fallen on hard financial times. They have also strayed from my teachings. I would like you to help them solve their financial problems and teach them a life lesson in the process." " It would be my pleasure Father." replies Moroni. " It will be resolved in one months time."

The Catholic Father is sitting in his rectory one day praying fervently for the financial salvation of his congregation perplexed as yet about how God is going to use him toward that end. A knock at the door interrupts his anguished state. " Come in ." Good morning Father my name is --------------- I am a Deacon at the local Mormon Temple. Word has come to us of your financial plight. We would like to help." The Father sees a glimmer of hope but proceeds cautiously. " What did you have in mind Sir." " A zero % interest loan. " replies the Deacon. " Well of course I'm interested Sir but I must ask one question. " replies the Father. " Please do. " Why are you doing this? " " Because both congregations are Children Of God. We will not stand idly by while our brothers are having difficulty " comes the reply. The deal is agrreed to and sealed with a handshake and without any fanfare. The Catholic congregation is saved. The loan was paid back in full and on time. The Father and Deacon beome fast friends as do their congregations. There are many inter-faith events held. The life lesson is taught. God does indeed work in mysterious ways and quite frequently with a Cosmically Divine sense of humor.

Now I'm sure that many of you are saying to yourselves " Well Stanner you've provided very few specifics of this story so how do we know it's true? " I would answer that the reason that there are no specifics is because the Mormons didn't wish any recognition for doing the right Christian thing nor did they wish the Catholic congregation to be embarassed. Mormons you see have this strange idea that many alleged Christians do not have. They talk the talk AND walk the walk. They are not Kumbaya Christians. The only reason I even know about the story is because my Mormon relatives told me about it in the strictest of confidence in reply to a question I asked them about why Mormons only help other Mormons. I suppose that it's entirely possible that they could be lying to me. God knows it wouldn't be the first time a relative lied to me. I'm 100 % certain that many of you Kumbaya Christians probably the vast majority will do what you virtually always do and cast the first stone by looking for an ulterior motive on the part of the Mormons and by denigrating them at every chance. As for me I will do as my faith instructs and accept their generosity which I believe to this day was given in the true Christian spirit. I have no reason to do otherwise.

The patriarch of my Mormon relatives family lost his job in the early 80's. He was a highly paid and skilled airplane mechanic who got Chronologically Stupid overnight. One day he had a good job and a thriving family and the next he didn't and his family was suddenly in jeopardy. His thank you for fighting WW 2 was to be told that he was now too old to work and that his job was going to China. The family was in desperate shape. He and his wife took menial low paid jobs to keep the family afloat. They raided their savings account. They did everything they could to keep their family together. Being a proud man he did not tell anyone of his problems. He did not want help. Once again when things seemed their darkest God stepped to the plate. One day the Deacon from his Mormon Church came to his home and told him that he had heard of the difficulties his family was facing. A job was offered and accepted. Granted they could not pay him what he was making as an aircraft mechanic but it was more than enough for his family and it was secure , he could have it for the rest of his life. Mormons you see take care of their own. Once again that Christian belief that so bedevils the Kumbaya Christians. Talk the talk and walk the walk. How many Christians of other denominations are homeless? How many Christians of other denominations are fighting the Demons of drug and alcohol addictions alone? How many unwed Christian mothers of other denominations have no one to turn to? Where are the other Christian churches when their brothers and sisters need help? What are they doing for their congregants suffering from these afflictions ? The beat goes on and on and on and on ad infinitum.

The Mormons I've described in these two stories are the Mormons of today. Do not let your fear cause you to waste your vote. America may never recover if you do.

 
 

BULLETIN !!! BULLETIN !!!

CNBC - Cracker News Broadcasting Corp. - The OTHER CNBC

Dateline : Hollywood , Ca. June 26 , 2012

CNBC has a scoop from the world of entertainment for you today Ladies and Gentleman. Earlier today Mr. Paul Stanner the C.E.O. and Chief Cook And Bottle Washer of Cracker News Broadcasting Corp. -- The Oher CNBC announced that CNBC would be offering adult entertainment effective immediately. CNBC's adult fare will be produced in conjunction with Buck Nekked Productions which is owned by adult film star John Henry " Buck " Nekked and his stunningly beautiful , bisexual and sizzling hot wife Holly " The Electric Rose " Hanson star of the adult film classics " The Stairway To Heaven Hotel " and " Tex Likes Pie Too " . CNBC , judging by Holly's photo below is absolutley certain that " Hollywood Knights " is going to be a smash it. Yes yes I know that was an editorial comment. You really do not need to remind me every single time !!

The first offering of adult fare on CNBC will be a xxx rated talk show titled " Hollywood Knights " hosted by " The Electric Rose " herself.

Stay tuned folks this is going to get very interesting. Oh boy lots and lots of nekked Cracker women !!! Yes yes I know that was an editorial comment.

Reporting for CNBC from " Tinsel Town " Ca. Michael " Big Mic " Testes

Flour to the Crackers.

We SHALL bake !!!

Now go spread your crumbs around Crackers!!

P.S. : Remember Crackers to be considered Buck Nekked you must take your socks off too.

 

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