BREAKING NEWS !!! BREAKING NEWS!!!

Cracker News Broadcasting Service - The OTHER CNBC

Dateline : San Francisco , California Nov.23 , 2011

The San Francsico Giants of Major League Baseball while under enormous pressure from Wendy Emily Bustnuttz Feminist Lawyer of the NAGS { National Association Of Gals -- Lesbian Division } and The GLBT { Gay Lesbian Bisexual Transgendered } folks made history today by smashing through two of the last barriers left in the area of human achievement. Today they hired both a woman and a Lesbian to fill the position of Bandito Rover on their roster. Ladies and Gentlemen the position of Bandito Rover on The San Francisco Giants will be filled by Rosie O'Donnel. Ms. O'Donnel is reported to be enroute to Phoenix where will she will receive two weeks of intensive coaching in Bandito Corralling from Major League Baseball's Bandito Rover instructor Rick Monday. Upon completion of her training Ms. O'Donnell will join the Giants roster.

C.N.B.C. says well done, even if you were coerced by the NAGS ,Major League Baseball and San Francisco Giants. CNBC also thinks this will be great fun to watch. I don't know which will give me the bigger chuckles the look of abject terror on the Mexican Bandito's face when he realizes he has a Bull Dyke after him or the look on Ms. O'Donnell's face as she tries to build up enough steam to corral the Mexican Bandito. High Comedy indeed. Yes yes I know that was an editorial comment. I've told you before I'm working on that problem. It could ONLY happen in S.F. LOL

For the preceding chapters in this saga of human conquest please click here.

Reporting for CNBC from Phoenix Arizona Chico " Baseball Been Berry Berry Good To Me " Esquela

Flour to the Crackers !!! We SHALL bake !!!

Now go spread your crumbs around Crackers !!!

BREAKING NEWS !!! BREAKING NEWS !!!

CNBC { Cracker News Broadcasting Corp. -- The OTHER CNBC }

Dateline : The Whitehouse Washington D.C. April 11 , 2012

Confidential CNBC sources buried deep undercover within the Whithouse are reporting a major incident in The Oval Office today. President Obama was attacked by a disgruntled family member. No no this was not a fight with Shelly about whether or not to watch NASCAR !! President Obama was attacked by DOTUS. The reason Bo would attack the DANG { DumbAss Nubian Guy } - In Chief is unclear at this time. Dr. Cyril Borzoi D.C.P. { Doctor Of Canine Psychology } has been brought to the Whitehouse for a psychological evaluation of Bo. Dr. Borzoi's preliminary theory is that Bo was highly agitated at DANG - I - C because of his failure to assist Portugal in their current financial difficulties. Being an illegal Portuguese Water Canine I guess this is understandable Dr. Borzoi stresses that this is just a theory and can't be proven. Bo is not talking. Don't you just love it when The Higher Minds are stumped by a cute little pooch? lol Yes yes I know that was an editorial comment. LOOK to your right , there comes another one. Apparently the line between a Harvard Education and Dog Obedience School is razor thin. Bo has been put under house arrest by The Secret Service and is being confined to an electried fenced in area on The White House lawn. He knew not who he was messing with apparently. He is on a subsistence Gravy Train diet and his Liva Snaps daily ration has been discontinued. The Immigaration And Naturalization Service has been instructed to look into Bo's immigration status. Our sources are informing us that I.N.S. is so far unable to find a long form birth certificate. The only documentation of his American birth that Bo has is the solemn word of some Frenh Poodle in Honolulu , Hi. Would YOU take the word of some French Poodle? A German Sheperd or Alaskan Malamute maybe but a French Poodle ?? Yes yes I know. Enough already. I know an editorial comment when I make one. Sascha and Malia are said to be very disturbed by Bo's apparent fate and have secretly called PETA and The A.C.L.U. { American Canine Liberties Union } in an effort to spring Bo from the Canine Calaboose. The NAACP is said to be formulating a law suit on racial grounds. When The Rev. Al " Tawana " Sharpton was asked by CNBC for a comment regarding this potential law suit he replied thusly " This is a clear case of Black Canine profiling. If this had been a White French Poodle accused of this criminal act she would have paid bail and gone home. " Clarence " Trashmouth " Hankins The Director Of Communications for The Cute Brown Kitties. DAMN I always make that mistake!! I meant The New Black Panther Party when asked for a comment by CNBC made these oh so predictable observations. " No justice for Bo -- no peace for the Crackers. We are ready to rumble with these Crackas anytime anywhere. Our pooper scoopers are locked and loaded. " Sources report that Shelley has had an ACORN agent make a donation to Bo's Secret Service Agent guard's favorite charity to sneak Bo his Milk Bones and Doggie Treats. Bribe is such an ugly word !!Is there anybody that ACORN can't reach with a charitable contribution? POTUS is said to be mildy amused by this whole thing although with very sore ankles. I guess The World Golf Tour will be put on hold for a bit. When asked for a comment by CNBC POTUS said the following " I think the Republicans should hire Bo. He could teach them how to bite. All they do now is run to the end of their chains and bark very loudly. Pending an investigation and upon a weighing of the facts I may consider a pardon for Bo. I will NEVER consider a pardon for ANY Repuplican for ANY offense." DAMN CNBC is shocked by that statement. Who knew The DANG - I - C had a sense of humor?

CNBC wonders if things could get much worse for POTUS? If this keeps up Oscar The Crouch will be more popular than POTUS. CNBC fully expects to hear that Shelley has run off with Jimmie Johnson with intentions of becoming The Cracker Queen Of NASCAR.

Stay tuned to CNBC for further details in " Bo's Stories Of The Canine Calaboose " Oh and if we hear anything about Jimmie and Shelly we'll issue a Kracker Bulletin. Inquiring Kracker minds want to know afterall.

Reporting live from Washington D.C. for CNBC Phineas T. Dogg

Flour to the Krackers !! We SHALL bake !!

Now go spread your Krumbs around Krackers

BREAKING NEWS !! BREAKINGNEWS !!

Dateline : Nashville , Tn. Nov. 22 , 2011

Al Gore in a statement released to CNBC today has voiced extreme displeasure with ALL of the following people Matt " The Big Biscuit " Morgan the creator of the Facebook group Cracker Nation , yours truly of CNBC , Mike Florey of The American Cracker Lovers Union -- The OTHER A.C.L.U. Facebook group , and Karen " Cracka " Hopkins of The Cracker Intelligence Agency Facebook group. It seems that these folks and their group members and readers are causing so much laughter around the internet thus releasing extremely high levels of carbon dioxide that Al is worried that the sky is going to fall.

Acting on complaints from The New Black Panther Party that this is a racist plot by this group of Crackas and the advice of the Global one himself Attorney General Eric Holder has launched a civil rights investigation.

WoW !! When I was in school I was taught that Chicken Little was the cause of this problem. Who knew this small group of Crackers had this kind of power? I guess the pen really is mightier than the ak 47. How ironic that The Black Panthers expected to go out in a hail of bullets only to have these four Crackas cave their roof in on them. They're very tricky Crackers indeed.

Reporting for CNBC { Cracker News Broadcasting Corp. } the OTHER CNBC Al " Cool Breeze " Shore

Flour to the the Crackers !!! We SHALL bake !!!

Now go spread your crumbs around Crackers.

Inspiration for this story came from Cracker Joe Vining. Spread your crumbs around Joe.

BREAKING NEWS !!! BREAKING NEWS !!!

Cracker Nation Broadcasting Corp. - The OTHER CNBC

Dateline : The Homeland Security Department Washington D.C. Nov. 19 , 2011

The Homeland Security Department has just issued a terror alert for Minneapolis , Mn. According to " Big Sis " of The H.S.D. there is currently a team of highly skilled and extremely dangerous terrorists enroute to Minneapolis , Mn. This team consists of nineteen blue haired Lutheran Swedish grandmothers who are allegedly traveling to Minneapolis to see their grandsons play in a local hockey tournament. H.S.D suspects that these Swedish grannies have hidden their explosives in the Swedish apple cake and hockey sticks that they have brought their grandsons as gifts.

H.S.D. has surveillance video of these nefarious Grannies engaging in such suspicious activities as going to Church , singing Protestant Hymns , cross wearing , speaking Swedish inviting the American people to sample Swedish coffee and pastry.

and God FORBID eating ham !!

H.S.D. has alerted the Transportation Safety Agency to be on the lookout for these Hockey HitGrannies. T.S.A. has deployed their Pervert Patrols and has assured " Big Sis " that these stone cold killer Grannies will NOT give them the slip.

H.S.D. urges the American public to treat these inhuman bloodless Grannies with EXTREME caution should they be stumbled upon. CNBC urges the American public to dismiss this idiocy out of hand as they do the vast majority of what our government tells us and have a good chuckle about it. Yes yes I know that was an editorial comment. What can I say these morons invite ridicule it would be impolite on my part not to respond in kind.

Reporting from Washington D.C. live for Cracker News Broadcasting Corp. The OTHER CNBC Inger Svenson

Flour to the Crackers !! We SHALL bake !!!

Now go spread your crumbs around Crackers !!

BREAKING NEWS !!! BREAKING NEWS !!!

Cracker News Broadcasting Corp. --- The OTHER CNBC

Dateline Phoenix Arizona Mar. 10, 2012.

M.L.B. Commissioner Bud Selig today announced that all Major League teams will be increasing their on field personnel to ten. The new position will be called Bandito Rover. The Bandito Rover will be stationed in shallow center field just behind the second baseman. His sole and only job is to corral any loose Mexican Banditos that run onto the field.

In related developments Major League Baseball announced that it has hired Rick Monday to be the Bandito Rover adviser at large for all teams. More specifically his job will be too advise each individual Bandito Rover coach on proper corralling technique. Major League Baseball also announced that it has created a new yearly award to be given to the Most Valuable Bandito Rover. The winner will receive an all expenses paid vacation to Arizona , dinner with Sheriff Joe and Governor Jan , and a Mexican Flag to burn at a time of his choosing.

CNBC says well done Major League Baseball. Yes yes I know that was an editorial comment.

Reporting from Phoenix , Arizona for CNBC Chico " Baseball Been Berry Berry Good To Me " Esquela

Flour to the Crackers !!! We SHALL bake !!!

Now go spread your crumbs around Crackers !!!!

BREAKING NEWS !!! BREAKING NEWS !!!

Cracker News Broadcasting Corp. --- The Other CNBC

Dateline Kleveland , Tx. Nov. 15 , 2011

Ladies and gentlemen CNBC has a troubling story for you today from the worlds of culture and the internet. It seems that Clarence " Trashmouth " Hankins of The Cute Brown Kitties er er I mean The New Black Panther Party has inspired some Crackers on the lunatic fringe of The Great And Mighty Cracker Nation to respond in a rather unique way to his constant diatribes against the Cracker people. These Crackers have started a website called The New KKK with the goal of getting their message heard. We are not certain yet if The Cute Brown Kitties are aware of The New KKK's site but we have our sources trying to track down " Trashmouth " in the hinterlands of Liberia for comment. Yes yes he is still hiding from Wendy Emily Bustnuttz. To see what The New KKK is up to just click on the link.

I guess that neither CNBC or anybody else for that matter should be terribly surprised that for every New Black Panther Party there is bound to be a New KKK. Yes I know that was an editorial comment. Get off my ass will you please. We've been over this a million times.

Stay tuned to CNBC for further details in this story as they emerge and we're sure they will very soon. CNBC can find " Trashmouth " even in the hinterlands of Liberia. You can run " Trashmouth " but you can't hide from the Cracker or Wendy Emily Bustnutzz for that matter. We're coming for you!!!

Reporting from Cleveland Tx. for CNBC Graham T. Wheat

Flour To The Crackers !!! We SHALL bake !!!

Now go spread your crumbs around Crackers !!!

BULLETIN !!! BULLETIN !!!

Cracker News Broadcasting Corp.

Dateline : Kansas City Mo. Nov. 15 , 2011

CNBC investigative reporters have been able to confirm that the usual Rogues Gallery of Ludicrous Litigants , Mr. Ben Envious of the N.A.A.C.P. , Rev. Al " Tawana " Sharpton of Operation Push , Rev. Jessie " Hymie Town " Jackson of The Rainbow Coalition , " Minister " Calypso " Louis Farrakhan of The Nation of Islam , Mr. Morris " Money Man " Dees of The Southern Poverty Law Center and Mr. Clarence " Trashmouth " Hankins of The Confused Man - Children of Philadelphia A.K.A. The New Black Panther Party have not accused anybody of racism or filed a racially motivated suit against anybody today.

C.N.B.C. finds this curious to the point of being suspicious and has assigned more investigative reporters to find out the reason for this strange behavior on the parts of The Rogues Gallery of Ludicrous Litigants. We are currently working on two theories the first of which is that these " gentlemen" have been iced and the second that FINALLY these Dumbasses have gotten the message. NOBODY freaking cares about anything they have to say.

I'm betting that somebody has iced them since I believe that all of them are too damn stupid to just STFU. On the other hand though America hasn't had that sort of good luck in quite a while now. One can only hope and pray that my theory proves out to be the correct one. Yes yes I know that was an editorial comment on my part. I'm getting really tired of you folks pointing that out to me every chance you get. It IS after all MY blog so I can say whatever the Hell I damn well please. lol

Reporting from Kansas City for CNBC Willa Randolph

Flour to the Crackers !! We SHALL bake. !!

Now go spread your crumbs around Crackers !!

The Blue Dress Chronicles { Intro }